Alex Carson
Breakups
Breakups can be tough on the person who is being dumped. The right thing to do is have a face-to-face breakup, let the person know how much your time together meant to you, and let them know why you are ending it. While this is the mature way to end a relationship, some people aren’t mature, and they go about the breakup the wrong way. Here are some hilarious breakup notes you can’t help but laugh at, but they make you feel terrible for the person who’s being dumped.
Dumped By Pizza
The person who chose this way to break up with their significant other was wrong for not doing it face-to-face, but at least they gave their ex a consultation prize. If their ex is an emotional eater, this is actually a good breakup. It makes you wonder if they asked the restaurant or the delivery driver to write the note before delivering, or if the individual wrote it and dropped it off themselves. Either way, it looks delicious.
Ouch!
Talk about being on entirely different pages. Jacob received a text from his girlfriend telling him that she had to tell him something. Jacob did too, so they decided to tell each other at the same time on the count of three. Jacob’s girlfriend says that she wants to break up, and Jacob asks her to marry him. You can be sure that Jacob and his girlfriend aren’t married today. You have to feel for the guy, this is humiliating.
The Cafe Sign Breakup
This must have been a pretty bad day for Paul. Not only did his wife let him know in the most public way possible that she was divorcing him, but she also let him know that she is keeping the family dog. Paul must have done something horrible to deserve this public humiliation. Everyone driving down the street now knows that his marriage is over.
The Ultimate Revenge
Cheating on your spouse is wrong, no matter what the circumstances are. Steven’s wife, Emily, figured out that he was having an affair, so she paid for a giant billboard out of the couple’s joint savings account. The billboard read, “Hi Steven, do I have your attention now? I know all about her, your dirty, sneaky, immoral, unfaithful, poorly-endowed (ouch), slimeball. Everything’s caught on tape. Your (soon-to-be-ex) Wife, Emily.” Emily wants the whole world to know that Steven is a cheater. This is humiliating, but the perfect revenge for a cheating husband.
Another Cheater
Dave is married to Nikki, and they have a family together. Unfortunately, Dave cheated on Nikki and has a girlfriend. When Nikki found out, it was time to get revenge. She wrote him a note on the back window of his Excursion that read, Dear Dave, Tell your G.F. (girlfriend) your wife and kids say hi. P.S. I cleaned out the bank. You’re broke. Love, Nikki, and the kids.” I don’t know what is worse, the public humiliation of being caught cheating, or the fact that she emptied their joint bank account. Either way, Dave deserves it.
A Knock-Knock Joke? Really?
This seems like a pretty childish way to end a relationship. Breaking up via text message is bad enough, but turning the breakup into a knock-knock joke is just insensitive. Whoever got this text and was dumped this way should consider themselves lucky. This is cruel and classless.
11:11
Many people make wishes at 11:11 because they are said to come true at this time. The person who sent the text was being really sweet. When their significant other asked what they were going to wish for, they said, “For you and me to grow up and get married and stay together forever.” Sadly, their significant other had something different in mind. Their wish was for the couple to break up before it got too serious. This is just mean.
Who Wrote This?
The contents of this note are mean. It reads, “Dear Keenen, I’m sorry. We have to break up. You always try to make me laugh, but your (sic) just maken (sic) your self (sic) look bad.” As if the contents weren’t bad enough, it is clear that a child wrote this note. The penmanship and the spelling say it all. Who has their child write a breakup note?
That Hurt
The person who received this text tried to save face, but only got burned even worse. The sender wrote, “Hey, I don’t think this is going to work…I’m breaking up with you. Sorry.” Clearly, the receiver was hurt, and tried to save face by texting, “Whatever! You’ll never find someone like me.” The sender wasn’t holding back and texted, “That’s the point!” Ouch. The person being dumped really had nothing else to say, judging by their response. This is just mean.
Garage Sale
The man who put this sign in his yard obviously wanted the whole neighborhood to know that his wife was cheating. He put a sign up in the yard that read, “Cheating Wife Garage Sale. Everything must go! Like her!” It is pretty clear that this won’t be an amicable divorce. That’s what happens when you cheat on your husband.
ILY
ILY is an anagram for, “I love you.” The person who sent this text wasn’t actually saying I love you. When the receiver of the text asked them to spell the words out to make it more special, they responded with, “I’m leaving you.” This is just mean. Ending a relationship via text is bad enough. Turing it into a cruel joke was just wrong.
At Least There’s Cake
Ending a relationship to move across the world can be difficult, and letting your significant other know takes the right words and tact. In this case, it just took a trip to the bakery. The cake reads, “I’m moving to Australia without you.” If the person being dumped eats their feelings, the cake was a nice touch. It is still a rotten way to end things.
Math or Grammar
This text makes it clear that Ron is a moron. His girlfriend tells him that the need to talk and things aren’t working out. He responds with, “Is it because I don’t have any math?” His girlfriend responded with, “It’s don’t KNOW any math, and no, that’s not why.” Based on his own admission, Ron isn’t good at math. Based on the text, he also isn’t good at grammar. Since he thinks that it is normal for relationships to end because a person isn’t good at math, he is also bad at relationships. His ex should be happy to get out when she did.
The Cruelest Breakup Ever
You can only feel bad for Jennifer. She is driving down the street one day when she sees a sign with her name on it. Further down the road, there is another sign that reads, “Will you marry me?” A bit further down, there is another sign that reads, “Just kidding.” She keeps driving and sees one that says, “I’m breaking up with you.” To make matters worse, the final sign read, “You have six days to move out.” This is just rotten. Jennifer must have done something really horrible to deserve this.
He’s In Total Denial
A girl texts her boyfriend, telling him that they need to break up. Sure, the text breakup is mean, but what’s done is done. Rather than accepting the breakup, her boyfriend writes back, “Aww, your autocorrect is messing up again.” She texts back to let him know that she’s serious, and he still won’t accept it. When she clearly tells him it’s over, he remains in denial and tells her she needs to get a new phone. He should accept the breakup and get some psychological help immediately.
Caught!
This is supposed to be a card to show love. It is supposed to say, “This card will feel heavy because it’s packed with love.” The man who gave it to his girlfriend crossed out “with tons of love,” and wrote, “You’re house key.” Unfortunately for her, he didn’t end there. He wrote her a letter that shows that he found out about how she is sexting with Michael, going on dates being her back with Jared, and has plans to get drinks with Derek. You can’t feel bad for her, not only is she cheating, but she is cheating with three other guys. He should move out and return her key.
Our Love Is Like…
The guy sending this text told his girlfriend that their love was like Seal and Heidi. The girlfriend lets him know that they broke up. He says that their love is like Britney and Justin. The girl tells him that they broke up ten years ago. Frustrated, he texts her back and tells her that she’s not catching on, and their relationship is over just like the ones he mentioned. He should have just gotten straight to the point. It would have saved them both a lot of time.
A Bad Way to Start the Day
The person who walked into this breakup scenario must have been in shock. Their ex wrote in lipstick on the mirror, “Dumped. This person. Sorry.” They also put a big circle where the ex’s head would be. This is a really harsh way to end a relationship, and it isn’t at all funny.
Oh, Poor Rachel
Rachel is a sad, clueless little girl. She wrote a letter to her “boyfriend” Shawn. She tells him that since he hasn’t spoken to her since he asked her out three months earlier, that she is breaking up with him. Poor, clueless Rachel. She continues by telling him that if he doesn’t get it together, he will never get married, which would be sad. Rachel should have figured out that Shawn didn’t want to be with her after the first few days of not hearing from him. Hopefully, she learned a lesson from this.
Happy Hunting
The guy who received this note was cheating with a girl named Kelsi. He made the biggest mistake that cheaters make; he left his Facebook open. When she sees the message, she packed up his things and brought them to various places that were significant to the couple’s relationship. She even brought the photos from their last two years together to Kelsi’s house. She told him that she didn’t break or damage anything, but there is no guarantee that anybody else did. This is the perfect revenge for a cheater.
A Photo Breakup
cjkarl11 had an adorable picture of himself and his girlfriend on his social media. He cropped her out of the picture and put that one beside the original. When she saw the photo, she commented, “Is this your way of breaking up with me?” Its a pretty insensitive way to end a relationship, but he got his point across.
An Ad In The Personals
Today, most people don’t list ads in the personals. Today, they used social media. Kevin Maxey’s girlfriend is clearly living in another time because she listed her breakup message in the personals. The message said, “Game is over as of Dec.9. I have moved on & I suggest you do the same. Do not knock on my door or ring my phone ever again. Bye.” Since hers is the only personal ad, it is clear that nobody uses the personals today. She would have been better off sending a text, creating a post on social media, or even sending a smoke signal. Nobody reads the personals. Poor Kevin probably never saw it.
For the Neighbors
For this woman, leaving her cheating husband wasn’t punishment enough. He wanted him to be the laughing stock of the neighborhood as well. She hung a large sign on the front porch that read, “Dear Neighbors, My husband cheated on me, so I had to move out! Thanks for the great memories!! After this, he was probably the neighborhood pariah.
Oh, Steve Frazer
Steve Frazer thought that he could have his cake and eat it too. He believed that he could have two girlfriends at the same time, and things would be great. When the women found out about one another, they teamed up against Steve for some payback. They made a huge sign that read, Steve Frazer, You’re Dumped, by both of your girlfriends.” They hung the sign over a highway overpass for everyone to see. Steve should have known better. He got what he deserves.
