Alex Carson
Pregnancy
Most pregnant women start reading pregnancy books as soon as they find out that they are pregnant. They want to know everything that they should expect throughout the pregnancy. You can learn a lot from a book, including the things that you should do while pregnant, the things that you should avoid while pregnant, and what to expect month by month. Most pregnant women find that there are things about pregnancy that aren’t in books. Here are 29 crazy things no one tells you about pregnancy.
You Will Fart More than Boys
When you are pregnant, you are going to have more gas than you have ever had before. When you are pregnant, be prepared for farts to come out whenever and wherever even at the most inopportune times.
You Will Gag When You Open the Refrigerator
Everyone knows that pregnancy causes morning sickness, but it isn’t actually morning sickness. It should be called round-the-clock sickness. When you are pregnant, every smell will make you sick, especially the combination of scents when you open the refrigerator.
You Will Feel Like You’ve Been Shot With a Horse Tranquilizer
Everyone knows that pregnancy can wear you out, but until you are pregnant, you don’t know how bad it can be. Pregnancy makes you tired all day, even after taking a three-hour nap.
Your House Will Be a Mess
When you are pregnant, you are going to be too tired to do anything. If you work, you will need to rest the second you get home. This will result in none of the housework getting done.
You Will Wonder If You Already Hurt Your Baby
When many women find out that they are pregnant, they worry about the drinking that they did in the weeks before you found out. You shouldn’t worry, though. It takes 6 to 12 days for the embryo to attach to the uterus. Back in the 70s, our mothers drank a bit even during pregnancy. Try to relax; your baby will be fine.
You Will Lie Like Its Your Job
Most women don’t want to announce their pregnancy until after the first trimester. During this time, you will need to lie to everyone about your big boobs, weight gain, and the fact that you can’t drink.
Beyond Emotional
Women produce more estrogen during pregnancy than they will during their entire lives. This can leave you an emotional, weeping mess throughout your entire pregnancy.
Your Boobs Will Feel Like Punching Bags
When you are pregnant, there will be increased blood flow to your breast tissue. This can make it feel like someone has been punching you in the boobs all day.
You Will Pee More Than a Great Dane
When you are pregnant, you will pee all day long. If you aren’t close to a bathroom, expect to pee your pants. Every pregnant woman does it at least once during her pregnancy.
You Will Have Trouble Pooping
The raging progesterone in your body when you are pregnant will slow your digestion. The foods that you crave also won’t help with digestion. This will make it very hard to poop every day.
You Will Be So Happy When Your First Trimester Is Over
After the first trimester is over, the nausea, vomiting, and fatigue will end. This is enough to make you jump for joy.
Your Gums Will Bleed
Your gums are going to bleed when you are pregnant, but you shouldn’t worry. Over half of pregnant women get pregnancy gingivitis, which causes swollen, tender gums that bleed. When the pregnancy is over, your gums will go back to normal.
You Will Wait To Wear Maternity Clothes, But You Shouldn’t
Maternity clothes have come a long way over the years. You can find maternity clothes that are cuter than the clothes that are in your closet. They are also going to be much more comfortable than your regular clothes.
Your Libido Will Go Up and Down
Your hormones are going to make your libido go up and down. One day you will want sex all day long, the next, you won’t want to be touched.
Tossing and Turning
When you are pregnant, you won’t be able to sleep on your back. It can be hard to get comfortable, and you are going to toss and turn all night.
A Nose That is as Dry as the Sahara Desert
Pregnancy causes your body to produce more estrogen, but it can wreak havoc on your nose. Your nasal passages can become really dried out, and it is called rhinitis of pregnancy.
Your Baby’s Kicks Will Feel Like Gas Bubbles
Sometimes, your baby will kick, and it will feel like gas. This is great because sometimes it is nice not to pass gas in public.
Pregnancy Brain Is Real
Some people think that pregnancy brain is a myth, but it’s not. Pregnant women are often forgetful. If this isn’t bad enough, as your pregnancy progresses, you are also going to be clumsy.
You Will Fear Bending Down
When your belly expands, you will do whatever it takes to avoid bending over. You might start using your feet to pick things up, or just start asking everyone to do it for you.
Your Hooha Will Start Hurting Before Giving Birth
Your body will produce a hormone called relaxin when you re pregnant. It loosens the ligaments to keep your pelvic joint aligned and stable. Unfortunately, it will cause pain in your hooha.
Weeks Can Be Wasted On Your Baby Registry
You can say you won’t, but you will take forever to create your baby registry. Because of this, you should start the registry months before the baby shower.
You Will Get Winded Just Taking a Shower
When you are far along, even the smallest movements will leave you winded. Fear not, when the baby comes, you will get your energy back.
You Will Be Hairier Than a Chinchilla
The increase in androgen in your body will cause hair to grow in places that it shouldn’t. If you start seeing hair around your belly button or nipple, don’t worry. When your hormones balance out after you have the baby, the hair will go away.
You Will Itch All Over
When you are pregnant, your skin will dry out and tighten up. This can cause your body to itch continuously. Your belly, back, boobs, and even your hooha will itch like crazy.
You Will Write a Useless Birth Plan
When you create a birth plan, you will undoubtedly have the best of intentions, but it likely won’t go as planned. Be prepared for your birth plan to change, and don’t get upset about it.
You Will No Longer Worry About Panty Lines
When you are pregnant, you will have plenty to worry about so little things like panty lines won’t be a concern anymore.
You Will Feel Like a Senior Citizen
Pregnancy will make you feel as though you have aged 50 years in just a few months. Suddenly, you will have aches and pains, you will be tired all the time, and you pee a lot. When the baby comes, you will start feeling your age again.
You Will Prep Your Lady Parts for Labor
From the time you find out you are pregnant, you will do Kegels to speed up healing and keep from peeing in your pants. These exercises will become more relevant to you than running on the treadmill.
Cankles
At the end of your pregnancy, your legs and feet will fuse as one. It isn’t attractive, but it is part of pregnancy.
